Yes, it has been another while since I've written last on this platform, so here I am, writing again (typing, in this case) because recently I've come to terms once again with my, I dare say, love of writing. These days I write a lot, usually on my notebooks, to pour out my feelings as they psychologists say, and sometimes to lash out my anger. But mostly just to pour out my anxiety, sadness, anything I was feeling that particular day.
Writing has always been a therapy of mine, and I don't know why there was a time I stopped. Maybe it was because I thought I had lost my passion in writing, and I think, and I even dare say, that I forced myself to think that I am talented in the design world and a little bit of editing in Adobe Illustrator made me a designer and I felt so good and proud of myself. Of course, I was being naive, and it didn't stop me from pretty much telling the whole world I wanted to take the graphic design major once I step into college or uni. They only nodded, and being the big mouth I am, of course I also told everyone that my first choice of college or uni is abroad, by all means, another country, such as Australia, Canada, or even the United States.
But of course life isn't as sweet as caramel even though everybody who inhabits this planet including myself wished it had, so not all that you plan is going to go smoothly on course. I ended up not going abroad for uni (I decided to stop saying college because where I am going to attend for my higher education is actually a university), and staying here in my birthplace instead for my higher education. But I decided to pursue in the visual communications design, because I was and still am interested in it, and I maybe do have the slightest bit talent in arts, as I grew up drawing, spending thousands of papers in the process. Everybody (the adults) who watched me grow up knew by heart that I loved drawing, and it was a part of my everyday life. I, on the other hand, am only going to hope that part of me is still here and is going to help me pursue a major in the design world.
Based on that psychology/talent/character test or whatever my school conducted which required each senior year student to take, my talents are actually quite the opposite of design. Well, not exactly an opposite, but it's quite different, I might say. Communications. Public relations. Communications - Journalism. Actress. Oh hey, journalism! Maybe I do have a talent in writing. Well, in the literature world, I think, since all my talents are of everything a literature subject is. But after consideration and consultations with everyone, I decided to still pursue design because I am interested in it, and also, my dad is an interior designer, so there's that. But then, there's the anxiety of being not good enough to actually fit in the design major because it's just wasn't written as part of my talents. That was also one of the reasons I considered, then re-considered, then considered again. But my family supported me in taking the design major and so did the counselor at school, so I decided that's that.
Why the hell didn't you just take the communications major instead? Or even journalism? Well, based on that test, yes, I do have talents in those fields and I do actually feel like I have those talents. I love to write and to read, too. But I do it just for fun. I don't ever think about structure, in fact, I hate structure. I don't ever think that my writing is wrong, because it's just me writing whatever I want and me telling a part of my life in words I choose to express it. I hate that journalism has structure, and it's serious texts and serious writings where you have to actually think about what you write and actually express your opinions about a particular subject or about a recent news. I haaaate that I had to think and stress that out. I write and read only for fun, not to analyze and make all of that my lifetime.
So yeah, that's my update, and it's so late already and thank God tomorrow's a Saturday. Nobody's going to read this anyway, but that's alright. Writing is my therapy anyway so this is just a good night's therapy session for me. Even though I am publishing this, it's not like the whole world's going to read what I wrote, right? Right.
ANYWAYS, SELF PROMOTING RIGHT HERE:
I HAVE A YOUTUBE CHANNEL! youtube.com/gabrielletorino
I post beauty related videos and I'm constantly on MIA lmao that sucks, I know, but I'm working on it. But sometimes I'm also confused why am I working on it because I don't really have subscribers and nobody cares. But well, there's that.
Thanks for reading this nonsense, if you are. I hope I don't stress you a lot.
-Gaby x
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